Shock is like a migraine or the flu.
You know what it's like, everybody claims to have had a migraine at some point, everybody claims to have had the flu. I've had both and I can safely say that a migraine is not like a bad headache, and the flu is not like a really bad cold. I was in bed for days with the flu, I was delirious, and it was only because I had someone with me taking care of me that I didn't end up in hospital. With the migraine I didn't know what it was for several days, again I was in bed, this time for 24 hours, I was nauseous, photosensitive and in extreme pain. It was only when I explained these symptoms to a friend that I discovered that's what a real migraine is like.
Shock falls into the same category: everyone claims to have been 'in shock' at one time or another, I've done it myself, but in reality I've only ever been in shock once, and that was Wednesday 10th August 2011. The day my mum came to tell me my dad had died.
I've been surprised before, I've been speechless, stunned, amazed, but to actually be 'in shock' is like being in another world. It is an experience far beyond the everyday surprises. The reference points that have always anchored you to the Earth are no longer in the right place, as the brain tries simultaneously to deny the present reality and to accept the awful truth. As a hundred thoughts all struggle to the surface vying for attention
Being 'in shock' precludes being 'in' so many other things: in our right mind, in a good place, in control. While my physical location hadn't changed, everything else had, and it was terrifying. Much more unnerving than the rollercoaster effect of mania and depression, because then sufferer is largely unaware of what's going on, it's the friends and family who suffer, no with this I was totally aware of what was going on but powerless to stop it.
Conversations were being held around me, plans were made: Charlie cancelled her shift at work; but I wasn't party to any of that, I was in my own little world, in shock. Life would never be the same again.
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