I reckon exaggerating is the best thing in the world ever.
When you use hyperbole (just a posh word for exaggeration) you get your point across so much more effectively than if you were to speak normally.
Think about arguments, you don’t want to be accurate in an argument, you want to be way over the top:
“You never do any housework, and you’re always late.”
They probably do some housework, and they’re almost certain to be on time occasionally, but that’s not how you get your message heard.
Or think about advertising. How effective would an advert be if it was accurate?
“The Big Store is having a fairly substantial sale! Some products have had their prices slightly reduced! Most things must go!
That would be rubbish: sales have to be massive; prices have to be slashed and absolutely everything must go.
When I’m hot, I’m not just hot, I’m roasting, or boiling, or sweating cobs.
My bag isn’t just heavy, it weighs a tonne.
And when I’m hungry I could eat a scabby horse.
But here we find a problem with exaggeration:
What if, one day, someone takes me literally? What if, in the midst of my hunger I say “I could a scabby horse”, and someone walking past with a scabby horse offers it to me in sympathy?
I’d look pretty ungrateful if I refused, and I’d be pretty unwell if I chose to eat it to avoid offence.
No, I’m not supposed to be taken at my word. People are supposed to hear what I say and understand that I mean a less severe version.
Does that mean that people should ignore what I say?
By no means. I may be a bit over the top, but what I’m saying still has a basis in truth.
The Israelites were forever saying things that they didn’t literally mean, and their complaints were littered with exaggeration.
In the book of Exodus, shortly after escaping Egypt via God miraculously parting the Red Sea, they begin to complain.
“If only the Lord had killed us back in Egypt. There we sat around pots filled with meat and ate all the bread we wanted. But now you have brought us into this wilderness to starve us all to death” (Exodus 16.3).
And again, when they discover the Promised Land is home to very large warriors:
“If only we’d died in Egypt, or even here in the wilderness” (Numbers 14.2).
Then just before today’s reading, they’re complaining again because they are tired of being fed manna every day (guess they’ve forgotten that manna from heaven is itself a miracle).
“Who will give us meat to eat? We remember the fish which we used to eat free in Egypt, the cucumbers and the melons and the leeks and the onions and the garlic, but now our appetite is gone. There is nothing at all to look at except this manna.” (Numbers 11.4-6)
Their bitter complaints cause God to get angry, and his response is pretty unpleasant.
“You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you.” (Numbers 11.19-20).
The Israelites were sick of having their complaints ignored, but when they were no longer ignored, they were even sicker.
So there we have the two great dangers of exaggeration — to be ignored or to be taken literally.
Which brings us to the gospel reading.
Jesus says: “If your hand causes you to stumble, cut it off… if your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off… if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out” (Mark 9.43-47).
Does he literally mean that we should maim ourselves to get into heaven? No, that’s the kind of thing that leads to all those strange sects where people whip themselves or starve themselves.
Does he then mean ‘I’ve been saying some pretty weird stuff there so just ignore it and you’ll be fine’? No, if he said it, it’s important.
Notice when he said to cut these things off — when they cause you to stumble.
If cutting your offending hand off is the exaggeration, the deeper meaning is to look at what else causes us to stumble, and be ready to cut that off.
What about the internet? Used properly it can be brilliant: connecting us to information and one another in an instant. But if it’s used improperly it can lead to gambling problems, buying things we can’t afford and even adultery (just consider the Ashley Madison website).
If the internet causes you to stumble, cut it off.
But wait, you say, I can’t live without the internet.
Jesus would argue that you can. You can live without a hand, so you can live without the internet.
What about credit cards? They can help to spread payments, to meet a big, unexpected bill. But if they’re used inappropriately they can lead to spiralling debt and anxiety.
But I need those credit cards.
Jesus would say not. If you can live without a foot, you can live without credit cards.
What about alcohol? Used responsibly alcohol can get any party started, help people unwind at the end of the day, and refresh a thirst on a hot summer afternoon. Used irresponsibly alcohol can lead to addiction, relationship breakdown and loss of employment etc.
But it’s only one glass, I just need one glass. One is too many and a thousand is never enough (it’s the recovering alcoholic’s credo).
And Jesus would point out, you can live without an eye, so you can live without alcohol.
He may have been exaggerating, but his message is absolutely true.
